Newton’s First Law states that…
“Every object persists in its state of rest or uniform motion in a straight line unless it is compelled to change its state by an external force applied to it.”

A personal development coach will have told you that…

“Every one persists in his or her own state, unless he or she feels the compelling need to change so as to escape from his or her current state.”

True? Come on. Nod your head along with me.

Newton’s Second Law states that…
“Force is equal to the rate of change of momentum. For a constant mass, force equals mass times acceleration and acts in the direction of the acceleration vector.”

Force = Mass x Acceleration

Brings back memories huh? Again, a personal development coach will suggest that…

“As long as you own a human brain, your success is equals to your mindset times the actions you take. Success acts in the direction of your thoughts.”

Success = Mindset x Action

Pretty neat isn’t it? Let’s move on to the Third Law.

Newton’s Third Law states that…
“For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.”

And it translates to…

“Don’t be afraid of failure and forego the chance to even try. Because for every action you take, there is always feedback.”

If you have done an excellent job, your boss shouts, “Excellent!” Your colleagues give you a pat on your back. That’s excellent feedback. If you performed badly, at least the boos will tell you what went wrong and you decide how to take the necessary corrective actions. Like the old English saying, “Once bitten, twice shy.” I believe in that.

Laws of Motion? Or Motivation?
That’s a lot of wisdom summarized in his three laws. And I thought they were just the usual, boring Physics laws. Simply brilliant. Thanks Newton!

The Meaning Behind a Praise
When you are given a praise, it can only mean one of the following…

How to Praise Someone
Praising someone is pretty simple actually. Let it come from your heart. A praise is nothing more than a set of heartfelt words delivered to show someone your appreciation or admiration. It’s different from flattery, which is usually excessive, intentional and unnatural. We don’t praise others “on purpose” just to get into his or her good books.

Why You Should Praise Others
So that others will praise you?! Haha. Nahhhh. That’s not the reason. These are some of the things a little praise can do for you:

I used to be stingy with praises. Whenever somebody asked me for an opinion, I always responded with something like, “Not bad.” “Nice.” “It’s pretty.” And never like, “This is the work of a genius!” “You handled the situation like a pro!!” I was afraid that unnecessary praises will only make them proud and overconfident. Nowadays, I try not to sink into that kind of mindset. Sometimes, all a person needs is a little praise to keep him or her drive going. It defines meaning to their work.

 
Why not pick up praising as your new hobby?

It Doesn’t Have to Be Like That!
His words awakened me. I still remember his first few words of wisdom went like this:

I was just randomly browsing through some books in the library one day when I came across this.
Those thought-provoking first few pages really impressed me. Then, I got wary. Is he another so-called expert my friends were telling me about? Hmm… National bestseller? Can’t be that bad right? Half skeptical and half curious, I read on.

We All Have the Same Hardware? 
Adam starts with the premise that we all have basically the same neurological make-up. Then came his epic question-of-the-day:

And his answer – the key to those differences lies in the behaviors and habits that get installed while we grow up! Most people are not exactly brought up with a winning mindset. And unfortunately, the same people never question what they do and never change their habits. It probably never occurs to them that they could! But of course we CAN change habits, behaviors and beliefs by stimulating our brains in the right way and creating new mental patterns.

The technology Adam uses to reprogram the mind is NLP, i.e., Neuro-linguistic Programming, which has proven to be highly effective at that task. And after carefully reading it, I found that Master Your Mind is not just another book on NLP, useful as that may be, but it goes waaayyy beyond that.

What Attracted Me Was…
The comprehensive, thorough, and easy-to-follow description of the actual techniques that are necessary to accomplish that goal. And it doesn’t stop there. This book is also an extensive workbook that helps the reader to put all those techniques to use right away! Thirdly, it offers a wealth of inspiring examples.

In fact, this book was the only reason why I started this blog. It really changed my perspective of life. So I’ll recommend it to anybody.

From an Under-achiever to Millionaire By Age 26!!!
Adam Khoo himself is a case in point. Starting out as an academically weak student at the very bottom of the pile, he used some of those very strategies he teaches here to reprogram himself and turn himself into a top student. Unlike his fellow students who were satisfied with a normal career path and income upon graduation, he set himself the goal to become a millionaire by age 26 – and achieved it.

He started his first business while still in high school, and several more while in college, and he even became a best-selling author with his book on how to become an excellent student. He developed a program called Patterns of Excellence that he used to teach others to re-pattern their mind to achieve success as well. Quite an inspiration indeed!

From the outset, Adam urges us to have the right mindset. Which I later on adopted as one of my core beliefs. And one of the key parts of that mindset is planning for success by setting specific goals, developing strategies to achieve those goals, and putting them into action!

You Too Can Empower Yourself By Having the Right Mindset
From his book, you can…

And the Drawbacks?
This book is really not for whiners but for people who are prepared to do serious work on themselves. And with that in mind, each chapter also requires you to follow through the exercises and action questions to be effective in helping you master your mind. If you used to copy your buddy’s notes in school, I’m sorry. Not this time. This is something you’ll have to do yourself.

Also, with its 364 pages, it seems kind of long for an e-book, and it may be a bit of a pain to read on the small screen of your i-book. But it is so worth it that you probably won’t mind anymore once you get into it. Besides, with the upcoming e-book readers or i-books with larger screens, this wouldn’t be an issue anyway. And, of course, you can always print it out or read on your computer!

Take caution too. He’s an action-oriented person. And his words will coerce you into taking some form of action. It’s that powerful. There’s no escape. On a lighter note, it’s nothing like how our parents like to nag at us. Don’t worry.

So, what’s your take? Trade that pair of movie tickets for a life-changing book… or continue dreaming?

Yes! I want to TAKE ACTION NOW!!!

B-A-A-mazing Notes from the Blogger:
About 80% of people who buy books (or e-books) do not finish reading it. Out of the remaining 20% who do, about 25% actually act on it. Simply put, if 10,000 people were to buy a book, only 500 of them will complete it and put what they learned into practice! Are you among that 500?

The Three Essential Steps

Step 1: Name at least two good things each about your personality, habits, behaviour, beliefs, values and skills

The good things about you doesn’t have to be on an astronomical scale. You don’t have to be a philanthropist or a two-time kidney donor. Wait a minute. A two-time donor? Oh never mind. Anyway, smaller deeds, like giving up your seat to the elderly counts too!

Step 2: Verify with your family and close friends

Self-explanatory I guess. Have a HTHT session with them! (HTHT = heart-to-heart talk. Some well-known acronym that we use in Singapore).

Step 3: Decide for yourself. What are your strong points? How will they help in driving you towards your desired goals?

Sounds like the exact steps I wrote on identifying your weaknesses. One thing to note here though…

What You Are Good At ≠ What You Like!
True? I have a tutee who’s skilled at drawing (I give part-time tuition remember?). But only because her mum had forced her to take up art lessons when she was younger. After years of practice, she became skilled at it. In truth, she hates drawing. So don’t confuse the things you are proficient in with your true passion.

This is So Much Easier with Mind-Maps
If you have been following my posts for some time already, you should have a personal mind-map that looks like that:

 
Your strengths can be found anywhere in your mind-map. Circle them in red (see above)! Are they in line with your passion and goals? Feel free to add a new sub-topic on your strengths.

The New Generation
Times are changing. People are changing. It’s the Information Age. An age whereby nothing seems impossible. You don’t need the good looks of Brad Pitts or Megan Fox to be rich and famous. Susan Boyle did it. A Taiwanese singer, Lin Yu Chun, dubbed by many news sources as “Taiwan’s Susan Boyle”, gained fame recently and even had a chance to perform at The Ellen Degeneres Show in April this year. Call him cute? Maybe. But I wouldn’t say it’s good looks that got him there.

Geeks used to be a total turnoff. But I see many rise to stardom now. Another famous singer from Taiwan, Lu Guang Zong, bears a mushroom head and still command loud cheering from the crowd.

Slowly getting my point ya? With a little creativity, you can turn your significant strengths into a respectable career. Think you have the loudest burp? Go join the Guinness Book of Records! Think you are a humorous geek? Go start a Facebook group on geeky humour. And sell geeky T-shirts.

Who knows? You might just start the next hot trend. Á la vôtre!

Even the Rich and Famous Once Fell Prey
From ancient times, strategists exploited their enemies’ weaknesses to turn the tide of the war. People sabotaged each other to climb the power ladder. Your weakness is like an open wound, inviting the unwelcomed to feast on it.

Even some of the rich and famous, at one time, fell victim to their own weaknesses. Tiger Woods, a first-rate American professional golfer, went through a major blue period in both his life and career due to last winter’s sex scandal. The Lewinsky scandal also put former US president, Bill Clinton, through a similar ordeal. Antwon Tanner, the One Hill Tree star, was given a prison sentence for selling 3 fake social security cards and 16 social security numbers for a mere $10,000.

Can you identify the traits that have caused them inconveniences in their lives?

Identify Your Weaknesses
For a start, do a quick self evaluation. Be honest because you are doing this for yourself. Name at least two bad things about your…

Say you’ve done up your list of bad qualities. The next step is to…

Talk to Your Family & Close Friends! 
WE are often blind to our own weaknesses. Your loved ones can tell you better. I once told a female friend of mine that she talks really loudly. She was like, “WHAT? I DIDN’T REALIZE UNTIL YOU TOLD ME!” Oh well. Fortunately I did.

A word of caution – find someone you are absolutely comfortable with to discuss this. The last thing I’ll like to see is a bunch of comments at the bottom telling me how you punched your best friend or fell out with your sister.

It’s easy for things to get personal. Especially when your best friend starts to rant about how you ruined the birthday surprise he painstakingly planned for his girlfriend because you were such a blabbermouth. Remain objective and consider their viewpoints about you from a third person perspective. Don’t bother to defend yourself. You’ll waste your precious time arguing your case instead of considering the other person’s viewpoint. Just take down what he or she says and move on.

It’s definitely worthwhile talking to your loved ones. Treat it as a bonding session. You might be in for a surprise too. Sometimes, the traits you view as your weaknesses might turn out to be your strongest points to them!

Make Your Own Decision
You heard me. You heard yourself. You heard what others got to say about you. Now, because you know yourself the best, you should decide on which one of your weaknesses are the most critical and are hindering your success. List down your top three, and start working on them, one at a time. It takes some determination and a strong desire to change. Don’t expect a complete overhaul immediately.

If you can’t decide, ask yourself just one simple question,

“Which one of your weaknesses will be costly to your true goals in life?”

A Word From the Author
Hope that all these talk didn’t cause you to falter or become depressed. If you did, you should…

… stare at this picture for 10 seconds.

Instead, be VERY proud. It takes a lot of courage to face your own weaknesses. Kudos to you, brave one!

Then, there’s something called parasites – like fungi growing on the trees. These little organisms sap away at the life energy of the tree, leeching away while making no positive contributions. Horrible as they sound, these are really how our negative values and beliefs are like. Let’s just call them mushrooms.

How Many Mushrooms Do You Choose to Feed?
As we move along in life, our personal growth is determined by how many positive values and beliefs we feed ourselves with. On the other hand, each little mushroom that you choose to feed serves only to deter your growth. A healthy tree has strong, incredible roots. And a successful man is a healthy tree indeed. Conversely, trees that allow too many mushrooms to grow on them become undernourished, weak, and unstable. One day, when a strong gale blows or lightning strikes, the tree succumbs and falls.

Mushroom Farming!
Yes. Time to remove the mushrooms. Allow me to borrow some ideas from bestsellers like “Law of Attraction” by Michael Losier or “Unlimited Power” by Tony Robbins. They share the same basic principles.

Step One. Identify your limiting beliefs. Maybe your goal is to run a music cafe, but you’re stuck with the following belief.  

“I’m too young to start a business. I wouldn’t have sufficient experience.”

Step Two. Pluck out those mushrooms. How? By finding strong supporting evidence to overthrow your limiting belief. For instance, to deal with the above belief, a quick google gives me this. “30 Under 30: America’s Coolest Young Entrepreneurs”. Cold hard proof that age is not a real problem. Neither is experience.

Make sure that you do a clean job. Find a few evidence. You don’t want some of those wicked spores to be left behind do you? Want something more inspiring? How about this? A young man who became millionaire at 14.

Step Three. Okay. Maybe now you’re thinking, “Heh, these guys have to be really smart to be able to do that.” Repeat steps one and two until you can no longer find any excuses that prevent you from pursuing your dreams.

Step Four. Here’s the cool part. Create a new, empowering belief. Something like…

“I’m in the process of becoming a sharp businessman.”

Be precise. And write it down. It has been scientifically proven that the simple act of writing it down greatly increases the chances of achieving it. Then back up your new belief with new evidences. These new evidences are the result of the consistent actions you take from here on to substantiate your belief. From something small, like winning a business competition, to something even bigger, like finding your first business partner.

You Are What You Think…
Remember this. You can have all the best tools in the world. But without the right mindset, even the best tools are rendered useless. Start practising the four steps above in your life.

Stop growing mushrooms NOW.

Height: Weight: Hair: Birth Place: Race: Occupation:

0.65m 100kg White Amazon Greens Sheep Wool production

Scar Face, the Murderer…
You just saw the criminal records of Scar Face, the murderer. Note that in Wooly county, every negative belief is considered a crime. His series of setbacks in life has led him to conclude that he was worthless as a sheep, and turned to crime. So, here comes the question. Which was the greater crime? Was it the murder? Or Scar Face’s loss of self-belief?

Are We Guilty?
If negative beliefs are punishable by the law, we will all be guilty. How many times in your life have you given up an opportunity because your beliefs held you back? You thought you’ll never succeed. You thought that even if you did, it will be a mediocre one. After all, only the rich or the smart can ever succeed right? Yes, you are probably right – if you believe in it. A self-fulfilling prophecy indeed.

Ponder Over This…
For now, try out this meaningful exercise for yourself:
1) Write down three instances in your life when you chose to give up.
2) For each instance, write down the reasons why you made the choice.
3) If given another opportunity, what kind of choice will you make?

It’s getting late and I’ll have to stop here. In our next post, we will discuss more on this topic and how we can rid ourselves of limiting beliefs. Stay tuned then!

A Close Call with Death…
It’s interesting to note that many who go through near-death experiences return wiser and with a greater appreciation for life. Some even went on to achieve great things. Celebrities like Jane Seymour, Sharon Stone, Richard Lawson, Christopher Reeve and Meloday Gardot are some examples.

Jane Seymour is an award-winning English actress, well-known for her performances in Somewhere in Time, East of Eden and the Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman television series. When she was 36 years old, Jane suffered an allergic reaction due to an antibiotics injection. At the brink of death, she thought about how she would never waste another minute of her life again if she were given a second chance. After the incident, she began to cherish her life, treating every day as her last [1][2].

Ms Gardot, an American jazz singer, met with a traffic accident when she was 19. The accident left her with multiple head and spinal injuries, as well as a smashed pelvis. Bedridden, her unwavering heart helped her endure the years of painful therapy, which led to her eventual recovery. Since then, she began to indulge heavily in music, contributing to her current success [3].

Reeve, an American-born international star, famous for his portrayals of "Superman", was thrown off the horse during an eventing competition at age 44. The injuries inflicted were so great that he stopped breathing in the intensive care unit for three minutes. Though he managed to survive, the incident left him paralysed from neck down. After overcoming his near-suicidal depression, he lived on bravely and eventually founded Christopher Reeve Foundation. He was also the co-founder of the Reeve-Irvine Research Center. He passed on 10 Oct 2004, forever remembered for his courage and compassion [4].

A Penny for Your Thoughts…
We don’t have to wait for bad things to happen before we come to a realization. Stop and review your life if you haven’t done so. Don’t take life for granted. Treat yourself a little better and decide for yourself what you will like to do. And you don’t have to live by others’ expectation of you. Most importantly, be honest about your life.

References:
[1] “Near-Death Experiences”, CNN Larry King Live transcript, aired 23 May 2005
[2] “Near Death Experience Changed Seymour”, ContactMusic.com, 18 Jul 2008
[3] “Jazz singer credits near-death experience with her success”, 3news.co.nz, 22 Jun 2009
[4] Christopher Reeve biography, ChrisReeveHomepage, accessed 6 Jun 2010

Have you seen the movie, "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past"? Remember the scene where Connor, played by Matthew McConaughey, was brought to the scene of his own funeral? His brother, Paul, was the only mourner. It was a sad and quiet event. This exercise is a visualisation experience similar to what Connor experienced. Don’t worry, it doesn’t matter whether you’ve watched the movie before.

Life’s Like a Movie…
Imagine that you are seated in a movie theater. You have no idea what you’ll be watching but you get yourself comfortable anyway. As you munch away on the popcorns, the film starts running. The title of the story flashes, "A Week of My Life". In the movie, it’s a Monday morning. The lead has appeared. And that’s you on the big screen! The movie continues to run, as you watch in detail how you run your everyday life. Every single detail is being covered, including how you’ll secretly dig your nose when nobody is watching. Okay, maybe you don’t. Soon, the day is over. Night falls. You turn in. It’s a brand new day again. And the cycle repeats for an entire week. The movie ends.

Take some time to think about the movie you’ve just watched. How would you describe it? Fun? Or boring? Was it the kind of life you wanted to lead? What if your life is to run in a similar fashion for an entire lifetime? Describe your feelings. Be specific.

The next thing I’m going to suggest might be uncomfortable for some. But let’s try it out anyway. Supposed you were to die suddenly. You are at the scene of the funeral home. Think of yourself as an ethereal presence.

You see your family members seated in the front row, weeping softly. A soft instrumental music plays in the background. And a weird, ‘antiseptic’ smell lingers in the room. As you walk around, you hear your friends talking about you in hushed voices. You hear them describe the kind of person you were to them. The funeral begins. A family member steps up and makes a speech about you. The speech ends.

Soon, the event is over and the crowd is gone. Your family is allowed another moment with you before the casket is closed and locked. Taking a glimpse at the casket, you think about what life has really meant to you. You think about the funeral speech made about you. Was it a short or long one? How much of a difference did you make in his or her life? You think about what your friends have said about you. Was it something you will have liked to hear?

What are your greatest regrets?

What Do You Actually Want in Your Life?
Maybe you wanted to be a better son or daughter. Maybe you wanted to be the proud CEO of a multinational company. Maybe you would like to start your own business and become a successful entrepreneur. Maybe you would quit your current job and pursue your passion in an entirely different field. Maybe you would choose to work from home so that you can spend more time with the family.

The good news is – you are still alive! You can still choose to change the way you want to live. Don’t live your life with maybes. Don’t lead a life filled with regrets. Make your choice now.

A Side Note…
I first came across this death experience exercise in "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey. It’s part of the chapter on the habit, "Begin with the End in Mind". An excellent book with over millions of copies sold worldwide. I highly recommend that you read it. I still apply the habits that Stephen taught in his book in my everyday life!

Did this exercise take you more than ten minutes?